Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
