planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
‪I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse. ‬
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