Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
