he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Randomize
