The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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