He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
