I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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