i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
