Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
