You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
