I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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