I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
