i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
