this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
