Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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