it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
