And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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