i will never coherently bang her
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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