70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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