Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
