HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
