the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
