at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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