would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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