so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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