IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Randomize
