I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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