I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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