Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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