hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
