Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
someone threw a dead crab at me
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
