Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
