I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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