Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
