You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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