Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
