Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
