i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
