I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
