I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Randomize
