My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
