And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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