well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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