i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
