I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
