I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
