I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
