I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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