i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
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