How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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