did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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